I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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