a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize