There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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