So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize