he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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