Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize