you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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