I feel great
I just peed on a car
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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