So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize