I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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