I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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