I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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