brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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