My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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