I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize