yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize