what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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