how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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