I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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