fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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