He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize