Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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