Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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