You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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