I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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