I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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