I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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