we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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