i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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