Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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