Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize