i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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