I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize