That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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