Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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