So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize