Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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