She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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