I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize