Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize