Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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