are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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