He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize