Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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