After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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