Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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