Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We are two peas in an std pod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize