I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
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She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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