I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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