I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize